All LIES!!. CHILD, Brain Tumour and that she was going to DIE. (Story of my life Journey Continues. Part 5)
Although my small tours came about quite frequently, regardless of how they went i still kept the faith, i still walked around with high hopes, and a prayerful heart.
I really wish i was the wife of superman, so i could take on the whole world and help everyone. For those who really know me, they will say at any time without hesitation, that i am a cheerful giver. I can remember removing shoes from my feet and clothes from my back to those who have asked for my help. I hate sob stories, i hate it when someone is really and truly hurting, suffering. If you can remember in my previous post, i stated a a few number of encounters i have had, poverty life, hunger, i knew it all. I know what it feels like to be hungry, and to also feel neglected. I would love after writing this reflective story, someone out there, somewhere, will be changed by this. If you feel like you are at that place in your life right now, where you find yourself being deceptive to yourself and others, to stop and RETHINK. And instead, learn to pray.
The day was lovely, the wind caressed and massaged my face as i entered the yard of a High School somewhere in Kingston Jamaica. I could hear melodic voices, and notes that hugged each other tight enough, coming from a rehearsal room as i followed the sound down a passage way. Everyone was smiling as beautiful and looking as beautiful as they sounded. My spirit was lifted at once, i am not quite sure what was the purpose for my being there, however whatever it was, i sure didn't say much that day, as this group was beyond perfection. I knew none of the students there at the time, but that was not so for long.
As the day quickly ran right off, i remember everyone gathered to meet and greet with me, i was having a great time, some introduced themselves, cracked a few jokes here and there, some giving complements about my attire and my voice. I must say, some of the speeches made about me almost tore me right down, because it was right then and there i knew, i had to be more than just an emulator, i had to be a VOICE and an EAR for these young witty teenagers, who were struggling with different issues at the time.
Something grabbed my attention. Why was she alone? Why was she looking like me 7 years ago? I said
to my self. Lonely, odd one out, neglected, hurt. Hey! come here, this thin, pale, scared looking girl, walked timidly across to me, with her hands closed, and her fingers dancing making contorted looking shapes and signs. I said my name is Jodian, reaching out for a hand shake, what is your name? She said i know who you are with a BROODING, smile. I could just feel this etch kinda feeling coming from her, something had to be wrong. Suddenly i heard laughing around me, so i asked why is everyone laughing around me, i was curious.
As i got up from the concrete chair under the tree, i totally had forgotten i had my purse in my lap, which had quite an amount in it, it went splash, and there goes Eighty Five Thousand Jamaican dollars, flying around in the air and students chasing them across the lawn, trying to help me assemble them back together. In my mind i was like Oh LORD, i did not want that to happen right here at all. I got so uncomfortable i even forgot i wanted to know what was the laugh about when i was speaking to the young miss. Bug-eyed was now the expression on every ones face! even the doleful looking kid, was now looking different, should i use the word pleading, since this can tell or show you when a person wants something very much.
The day was coming to an end and it was time to leave the school compound, however this time around it was the Ms. Downcast beckoning to me. I went across to her, and these were her words.
" Miss. I don't have any clothes to wear ever since i had my BABY, months ago, everything is now big, because i have lost a lot of weight. My baby father is gone, i don't know where he is, and only my mother is helping me, and she don't have money to help me and my daughter much". So miss if you have anything you don't wear again can you please give them to me. I am afraid to ask for help because i get beat up etc.
Now. knowing how my heart is, what always happen to me when individuals are asking for my help is that i get real emotional, because i can most times RELATE!! I wore peoples 2nd hand clothing on my back throughout High School Days, many didn't even know that. So i was already all over the place emotionally.
That day ended in 2 parts. I don't know what happened but i ended up purchasing food for everyone who stuck around me that day, and i never regretted it. It was FUN, a different experience for me, because if that's the feeling one get and have, for making someone's day, then i wouldn't mind feeling like that everyday. Someone else also benefited from me that day, a woman approached me, rejoicing about my success in Digicel Rising Stars Competition, how much she had voted for me, and that her church was doing something, either her church, or she said her house needed BLOCKS, and i gave her Ten Thousand Jamaican Dollars at the time as a contribution towards whatever she said it was.
As for part 2, of that same day, i took the girl home with me, and loaded her up with 4 bags of clothes and shoes, some CAB fare to get home safely, some extra CASH for school the next day and also a "BIG HUG" and some encouraging words. This kid, became part of my life, little did i know it would have only been a matter of time, before some devastating and shocking truth came out.
I was living with a spouse at the time, and i remember rushing off to my room to answer my cellphone. It was my KID :) Whats up? Are you OK? were my words to her, she sighed. After i finally got her to speak she said i am coming from the doctor and they say i have Brain Tumour and that i can die if i do not pay for the surgery right away. My entire body got cold, but i remember taking deep breaths, trying not to panic. I asked her, how much did they say? "Sixty Thousand Dollars" she said. But i became quizzical, something seemed strange with the figure, i was a bit confused, shouldn't those kind of surgery cost more though? in any case, i never gave an answer right away. I needed to Visit this Kid home. It was time to meet the mother.
Sir! Hi, good night, have you any clue where i can find Lamp Street (Name not real), not sure Mam, i am not from around this area, 5 stops approximately, before i finally arrived at the right house that night, as i made my way in search of my KIDS home.
I stood looking to ensure i was at the right place, then i slowly walked towards the house, then i saw who i was looking for, a bit shocking huh, i said, as i walked towards her, gave her a hug. I didn't know you were coming here tonight, where is your mother, she told me she would be in by now. She had no idea i had dialogue with her mother, i was 10 steps ahead in my research. I also had the money too to give towards this surgery. The mother soon arrived, and invited me in. I didn't expect this type of vibe from the mother, she had a sullen type expression on her face, her voice sounded taunt, however she tried to remain calm.
Could you excuse Jody and I please, i don't need your presence right now. OK, this is even more serious than i thought. As we were left alone in the one bedroom house, she never hesitated to start crying, i moved over to her, and hugged her. Whats going on? you can speak to me. It was then and there the whole truth unravelled. So this KID, i took as my Child, i played mentor role, a motherly role, even though i myself was a child at the time, LIED to me and Killed me emotionally, i never wanted to help anyone again. Someone who really needed the help will now have to suffer i thought. The BABY she spoke of, was her little SISTER, her mothers last child. The TUMOUR, another LIE, the bags i packed for her, her stories, were all lies. Her mothers last words to me was, keep your MONEY.
I am in this little old house now because of HER, she fabricated stories about my HUSBAND and i lost him, i wept openly, in my mind, but as soon as i remember opening the car door, and got out on the main, back to civilization, i wept loudly. I was not crying because i was lied to, i cried because i was really trying to HELP someone to be better. Also i cried for that mother.
There was no chemistry between this parent and her child. She was not going to have her anymore around her, as according to her, she said her daughter had caused so many disgrace. She thought, this was enough. I encouraged her to not turn her back on her daughter, and i briefly pointed out a few things i went through with my MOM. just to let her realize al hope was not lost.
It is not easy for Parents at all. I had learn from that experience too, a whole lot. I had learn to appreciate my MOTHER even more, speak the truth always, be a CHILD when you are a child. Act your age, and not adopt an Age bigger than you truly are. Appreciate life and the little it offers you, and work hard towards making your life into something huge. I respected that mother, because she was never deceptive, she never lied to get money for their poverty stricken life, and oh believe me when i say it, the condition smh.
As for that kid, i don't know where she is now, last time i heard of her was 5 years ago. I was told she finally had a child, she got married and the whole works. I don't know if life has gotten any better or worst for her, but for whatever it is, i wish her nothing but the best.
Dont demand respect as a parent. Demand Civility and insist on honesty. But respect is something you must earn, with kids, as well as with Adults. William Attwood.